Sunday 26 December 2010

The Book Of Eli


A post-apocalyptic world in which a lone man fights his way across American in order to protect a sacred book.

Denzel Washington is easy to watch. As loner, Eli, trudging across a violent America he cuts an enigmatic figure in a Mad Max world. The book of Eli wanders along and for the first part of the movie the viewer is not sure where the story is going to go. It's not until Gary Oldman as the evil Carnegie - ruler of a shanty town - gets involved that the story takes a very interesting turn. It's a stick-with-it movie with a nice twist in the tail ending. Our only criticism would be the ending drags on a bit.

3 elephants

Sunday 7 November 2010

The Losers - 2010


After being betrayed and with an attempt on their lives, members of a CIA black ops team seek out those who targeted them for assassination. Starring Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Zoe Saldana, Chris Evans, Columbus Short, Oscar Jaenada and Idris Elba.

Oh, Idris Elba, after your powerful performance in The Wire that made you a man in demand and left us devoted fans, what were you thinking when you read this script? Did you not look at it and think, 'A van. A mature, smartly dressed, smooth-talking leader. An out-spoken black guy. a goofy, white guy. A good-looking, clever guy...mm, this reminds me of something.' Because you sure as hell should have. This badly written, badly cast A-Team wannabe movie that was loosely based on a comic book, cost £25 million to make and made less than $24 million at the box office. A turkey with all its trimmings. Idris Elba - you deserve better than this. A waste of a Saturday night.

1 elephant (and that's only because Idris Elba is in it)


Wednesday 13 October 2010

Estranged couple, Paul and Meryl Morgan (Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker) witness a murder in New York and are relocated to a small town in Wyoming as part of a witness-protection programme.

'Did you hear about the Morgans?' try 'Did you hear about this awful movie?'
You know? The movie that crawls along, dragging it's knees to a predictable, cliche-riddled ending. Sometimes a bad movie is somewhat saved by the quality of acting, but we've seen better amateur dramatics than the wooden performances by these two so-called 'A-listers.' Hugh Grant stuck forever in his perpetual wheel of bumbling, English toff and SSJ? Unemotional & bland. We've seen more life in an empty bottle of your Covet perfume. And now, quite frankly folks, we can't be bothered to write any more because this was one of the worse movies we've ever seen. A big 'DON'T BOTHER' from the Bright team.

-0 elephants

Sunday 19 September 2010

The Men who Stare at Goats


Journalist Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor) reporting in Iraq -to impress his estranged wife - may just have stumbled on the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) who claims to be a former member of the U.S army's First Earth Battalion. A 1980s unit that employed paranormal powers in their missions. ie: Men who can stare at goats till their hearts stop.

Based on Jon Ronson's book, it's a satirical comedy in the style of the Coen brothers.
Tagged with the title that that 'more of this is true than you realise' you are led into a story of hippie soldiers, psychic spies, Jedi warrior all quite endearingly woven together with off-the-wall characters. A list actors with some terrific moments, the film meanders but ultimately never reaches a satisfactory conclusion. The kind of movie that leaves you scratching your head. However, if you get the chance - read the script because then you'll see how funny this film really is.
3 Elephants
Best line:
It's ok, you can "attack" me...
What's with the quotation fingers? It's like saying I'm only capable of ironic attacking or something.

Sunday 1 August 2010

Moon

Director Duncan Jones' first feature film about Sam Bell an employee who is contracted by Lunar Industries to work on the moon and that's all we're saying because we don't want to give away the plot.

Trawling through the films on Love Film I came across this movie and without even reading the synopsis put it on the list because it had such a cool poster. Months later it turned up and before we watched it I was repeatedly asked what it was about, to which I replied 'the moon, I guess.' But when we came to watch it we were blown away. This should have got Sam Rockwell an Oscar nod - at least. It's incredible to think this movie was made for just $5m, it looks as if it's been filmed on location - on the moon! The entire movie literally has only one actor in it. It's a fantastic film. Brilliantly directed and superbly acted.
5 elephants

Best line - Sam: Gerty, is there someone else in the room?

Monday 31 May 2010

The Proposal 2009

Pushy boss, Margaret Tate (Sandra Bullock), forces her young assistant, Andrew Paxton (Ryan Reynolds) to marry her in order to avoid being deported to Canada.

Only one of the Saturday Night Bright team watched this movie because only one of them is a Sandra Bullock fan! That apart, this movie script is sadly, formulaic. It's all been done before right down to the confession at the altar and inevitable chase to the airport. There are some very funny moments mostly provided by the adorable Betty White who plays Andrew's Grandma Annie and the scenery is very nice! But mostly it's just another romcom with the usual predictable happy ending.

3 elephants

Eagle vs Shark

Two social misfits, Lily (Loren Horsley) and Jarrod (Jemaine Clement) become boyfriend and girlfriend after Lily - who works at a fast food outlet turns up univited at a party thrown by the boy she adores from afar, Jarrod, a nerd who works at a video games store. Impressed by her savant-like skills at a video game they embark on a romance. But Jarrod has more on his mind than love as he is honing his fighting skills to settle and old score with a school bully.

Although this has sometimes been referred to as New Zealand's answer to Napoleon Dynamite this was, in fact, released at the same time. Deadpan humour, quirky, eccentric and quite brilliantly acted this movie makes you laugh and yet empathise with the characters. It's quite simply a funny film with a really lovely story and we didn't want it to end.

4 elephants

Sunday 25 April 2010

The Bucket List

Two Terminally ill men, Carter Chambers and Edward Cole (Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson) on a road trip with a wish list of things to do before they 'kick the bucket.'

Things we didn't like about this movie:
1. The bucket list road trip was not the theme of the movie.
2. Sentimental overkill.
3. Depressing to the extreme!

We conclude that Freeman and Nicholson are tremendous actors and that is this movie's only saving grace. And speaking of grace (you might have to pray for some to get you through this depressing tale) the only thing we liked was 'ex Will and Grace' actor Sean Hayes who played Edward Cole's long suffering, and often amusing, assistant.

Best line: "We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round."

1 elephant

Shooter

Ex-army marksman, Bob Lee Swagger, is living in exile when he is persuaded back into action after learning of a plot to kill the president. But ultimately framed for the attempted assassination he goes on the run to catch the real killer and find out who has set him up.

Rambo meets Jason Bourne. Which means lots of heads and arms being shot off but with a good story to accompany the blood lust. Basically one man's struggle against a powerful and corrupt system bent on framing him for something he didn't do. Who could he trust? Hell. We didn't know. The movie made us feel as uncertain as Swagger did himself. It kept us guessing. Would he outsmart the bad guy as he stepped into one trap after another? A movie that involved it's viewer - always a good thing. It's sustains tension and kept us guessing. And we so wanted Swagger to come out on top.

Best line: "You can's shoot me, I'm a U.S. senator."
"Exactly."
pow!

4 elephants

Saturday 17 April 2010

Thank you for Smoking

Satirical comedy about tobacco lobbyist, Nick Naylor (Aaron Eckhart) who spins on behalf of cigarettes while at the same time tries to be a role model for his young son.

Okay. So the protagonist lobby's on behalf of people that cause 1200 deaths a day, so we hate him - right? Er. No. Somehow we are drawn into liking this morally, reprehensible character. He's slick. Has an answer for everything and ties his opposition up in knots. But he also has a point. It's not a good point. But it's still a point. Education starts at home and everyone should be educated enough to make up their own minds as to whether they smoke or not. This movie is brave and witty. Satirical and sentimental. But hey. Don't take our word for it. Make up your own mind.

Best line in the movie: ' That's the beauty of argument, if you argue correctly, you're never wrong.'

3 elephants

Sunday 4 April 2010

The Informant

The U.S government investigate price-fxing in an agricultural business giant based on evidence given by their star witness, company vice president Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon).

It's set in the 70s, no, 90s. 70s? 90s? Oh, wait. It's set in the 90s and filmed like it's in the 70s with a warm glow. Ah, hence the Marvin Hamlisch score.
Our protagonist conducts a narrative throughout the movie. Factoids that occupy his mind and ours, too. He is unbalanced, yet likeable. Is he a good guy? Yes. Mostly. Does he tell the truth? Sometimes. Is he playing out his role as if he's in a Hollywood movie? Definitely. He even calls himself '0014' - twice as smart as 007. As we follow Whitacre's role in bringing down his company from the inside we find ourselves engaged yet slightly confused. But how refreshing to find a movie that made us think and kept us thinking long after it had finished. And how does a polar bear know his nose is black, anyway?

3 elephants

Sunday 28 February 2010

The International


Interpol agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and Manhattan D.A Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) investigate one of the world's most powerful banks. Uncovering illegal activities that include money laundering and arms dealing, their investigation takes them across the world as they try to bring to justice a bank that will stop at nothing to continue to finance terror.
You must watch this film if only for the gun battle in the Guggenheim museum in New York - awesome! We watched this film a couple of months back and it was so impressive (not) we can't remember anything about it apart from that massive shoot out. So hardly a memorable film, then?
2 elephants

The Invasion


An alien life form attaches itself to a space shuttle that crashes back to earth. Anyone coming in contact with debris from the shuttle and therefore the alien life form, becomes infected and contagious. When they fall asleep their DNA is recoded and they are robbed of all emotion. (Obviously this happened to Nicole Kidman before the film started!)
If you can get past Miss Kidman's frozen features and Daniel Craig's hair (was it a wig???) there is a one in a million chance you might enjoy it. This remake starts off well enough but come the third act it just seems the script writers ran out of steam and just thought 'c'mon guys, let's wrap this up asap.' The resolution was pathetic. And while we're at it, Nicole Kidman's running -- well, she just shouldn't.
1 elephant (and that's being generous)

Inside Man


From a cell, Dalton Russell (Clive Owen) tells us he carried out the perfect bank robbery and invites the audience to watch how he did it. But while he was committing the crime he had to outsmart Detective Frazier (Denzel Washington) and just to throw a little something else into the mix, the bank's president had something in the safe deposit box he was eager to protect. Enter Madeleine White (Jodie Foster) a high-powered fixer or as we like to think of her role ' the token bitch.'
Not your run of the mill cops and robbers film. The plot was fast paced, smart and very clever. The only spoiler - Jodie Foster's role in it. It could have been played by any actor. As good as Jodie Foster is, somehow she didn't bring anything to this film. Nevertheless, we loved this movie for it's originality and are pleased to hear they are making a sequel.
4 elephants