Seven Pound

Two years ago Tim Thomas (Will Smith) caused the death of seven people. In an effort to redeem himself he set about donating bits of his body. A lung lobe to his brother, a piece of his liver to a child services officer, a kidney to a hockey coach, bone marrow to a young boy. For his final donations he steals his brothers IRS ID and searches for worthy recipients. Ezra Turner, a blind meat sales person is to receive his eyes. Connie Tepos, a young woman, his heart. But to donate these final pieces he has to commit suicide and in such a way that his vital organs are preserved.

This movie should come with a health warning. Watching it will make you seriously depressed. It's basically Will Smith, with a strange, tortured look on his face, fumbling about, tears dribbling down his cheeks as he sets about fulfilling his quest. It was as if he was trying to get an Oscar by crying a lot. Never before have we watched a film that has left us so utterly depressed. It was pointless and unrealistic. One of the least enjoyable films we have ever watched and enough to turn anyone to drink to blot out the depression it yielded on any viewer.

0 elephants

Year One

When Zed (Jack Black) a pre-historic hunter eats from the forbidden tree and gets banished from his tribe, he takes with him his shy, awkward friend, Oh (Michael Cera). On their travels they encounter Cain and Abel, Isaac and Abraham, become slaves and end up in the city of Sodom. Here they find the rest of the tribe, including the women they love, Maya and Eema. Their goal is to rescue them, but first they have to deal with Sodom's High Priest, the King and Cain, who seems to pop up everywhere causing chaos in their lives.

Actors: Jack Black, Michael Cera, David Cross, Paul Rudd, Oliver Platt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Hank Azaria, Vinnie Jones, Kyle Glass. Director: Harold Ramis. Writers: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky. All this talent and you make this very unfunny, uneven comedy? This film is littered with stupid, puerile jokes and weak humour. It was as if they were relying on Jack Black to make it funny. Well, give him half a decent script and maybe could have. We'd like to say this film was rubbish, but at least you can recycle rubbish. This film was just pure, unadulterated crap. AVOID!

0 elephants

The Sentinel

Peter Garrison (Michael Douglas) is a secret service agent and personal bodyguard to the First Lady of the United States, Sarah Ballentine (Kim Basinger) with whom he is having an affair. He finds himself embroiled in an investigation to an assassin plot against the President. Each agent is ordered to take a polygraph test and, because he has to hide his affair with the First Lady, he fails. Thus finding himself an unwitting suspect for providing information to the would-be assassins.

Rotten Tomatoes reviews this as a film as boring as watching ink dry on a U.N Treaty. Well stuff them. This actually wasn't that bad. Although it was slightly worrying that when looking at the DVD and seeing that the film starred Michael Douglas, Kiefer Sutherland and Eva Longoria...but somehow we'd never heard of it. Nevertheless, it was a good story, kept our attention and watching an OAP (Michael Douglas) beat up half of the U.S Secret Service was entertaining if not a little amusing. Watch but don't expect a classic.

3 elephants

Confessions of a Shopaholic

Rebecca Bloomwood has a major shopping addiction but she's in debt up to her Gucci neckline and she's just lost her job. As a result of a letter mailing mix-up she unintentionally lands a job with a financial paper where she unwittingly becomes a star when she writes an article about how to handle money - something she clearly cannot do. Living a huge lie and with a very persistent debt collector on her tail, Rebecca finds herself in big trouble.

A disappointing film from a really, really good book. Why do they always do this? The same thing happened with 'In Her Shoes' - nothing more to say. Don't bother with this movie.


1 elephant

Flightplan

Kyle Pratt (Jodie Foster), an aviation engineer, is flying back to the USA from Berlin bringing with her a coffin containing her husband's body, and her six year old daughter. Three hours into the flight, Kyle wakes up to discover her daughter is missing. The crew tell her she did not board with a child and must be suffering from psychological trauma caused by the tragic death of her husband. But Kyle knows otherwise and on a double-decker plane that she helped to design she finds she has to take matters into her own hands to find her child.

Edge of the seat thriller that held our attention from start to finish. We spent most of movie second guessing only to discover we were wrong. Jodie was brilliant but we were particularly impressed by Peter Sarsgaard who played the understanding air marshall. A really good movie that we highly recommend.

4 elephants

Half Nelson

Inner City high school teacher Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) is a brilliant teacher, yet he spends his time outside school in a drug induced haze. He also coaches the girls basketball team and one of his young players - Drey - inadvertently catches him getting high after practice. As the story unfolds we delve into the lives of both Dan and Drey as they try to save each other from the consequences of their troubled lives.

Ryan Gosling's performance in this 2006 movie earned him an academy nomination. A slow burner, this movie has the feel of an Oscar winner (or something they would like, anyway.) It's emotionally moving in an understated way and you feel as if you've watched a really good movie at the end of it -- which you have!

4 elephants