Seven Pound

Two years ago Tim Thomas (Will Smith) caused the death of seven people. In an effort to redeem himself he set about donating bits of his body. A lung lobe to his brother, a piece of his liver to a child services officer, a kidney to a hockey coach, bone marrow to a young boy. For his final donations he steals his brothers IRS ID and searches for worthy recipients. Ezra Turner, a blind meat sales person is to receive his eyes. Connie Tepos, a young woman, his heart. But to donate these final pieces he has to commit suicide and in such a way that his vital organs are preserved.

This movie should come with a health warning. Watching it will make you seriously depressed. It's basically Will Smith, with a strange, tortured look on his face, fumbling about, tears dribbling down his cheeks as he sets about fulfilling his quest. It was as if he was trying to get an Oscar by crying a lot. Never before have we watched a film that has left us so utterly depressed. It was pointless and unrealistic. One of the least enjoyable films we have ever watched and enough to turn anyone to drink to blot out the depression it yielded on any viewer.

0 elephants

Year One

When Zed (Jack Black) a pre-historic hunter eats from the forbidden tree and gets banished from his tribe, he takes with him his shy, awkward friend, Oh (Michael Cera). On their travels they encounter Cain and Abel, Isaac and Abraham, become slaves and end up in the city of Sodom. Here they find the rest of the tribe, including the women they love, Maya and Eema. Their goal is to rescue them, but first they have to deal with Sodom's High Priest, the King and Cain, who seems to pop up everywhere causing chaos in their lives.

Actors: Jack Black, Michael Cera, David Cross, Paul Rudd, Oliver Platt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Hank Azaria, Vinnie Jones, Kyle Glass. Director: Harold Ramis. Writers: Lee Eisenberg, Gene Stupnitsky. All this talent and you make this very unfunny, uneven comedy? This film is littered with stupid, puerile jokes and weak humour. It was as if they were relying on Jack Black to make it funny. Well, give him half a decent script and maybe could have. We'd like to say this film was rubbish, but at least you can recycle rubbish. This film was just pure, unadulterated crap. AVOID!

0 elephants

Burn After Reading (Watching!)

Osbourne Cox is fired at the CIA. His wife wants a divorce and expects her lover, Harry, to leave his wife. A diskette of Osbourne's falls out of a gym bag at a Georgetown fitness center. Two employees there try to turn it into cash: Linda, who wants money for cosmetic surgery, and Chad a nice, but dumb, guy. They try to sell the disc back to Osbourne, then the Russian embassy. But it all goes stupidly wrong.

Burn After Reading - huh! Burn after watching would be our advice. Our opinion is that this is rubbish. It said side splitting funny on the dvd box - whoever wrote that surely didn't watch the movie. The only remotely funny thing about this movie was Brad Pitts character 'Chad' and they killed him off well before the movie ends. This movie leaves with you a 'what was that all about' feeling. The shame of it is some of the characters are good and it is undoubtedly well acted by its all star cast, but the story is weak and stupid and makes little sense. We don't do this often but Saturday Night Bright are going to give this a great big fat 0 elephant.